Mom and Dad Save Christmas!

There are dozens of movies out there with the same tired plot: Christmas is in danger of not happening, so a reluctant hero steps up and saves it.  Ernest, Elmo, Tow Mater, Beethoven, Rudolph, Diego, Inspector Gadget, the Grinch, and Tim Allen have all found themselves in the all-important role of filling in for an awol St. Nick.  Of course, we parents know that the superhero job actually falls on us.  If we didn't buy, hide, sneak, and wrap the toys--stuff the stockings--Christmas at our houses wouldn't happen.

This year things are tough for a lot of people.  Maybe it's not the first year things have been that way for you.  For us, this Christmas is the first one of our marriage that is looking pretty slim.  Slim, as in, if we didn't already own a fake tree, we probably couldn't afford even the Charlie Brown kind.

For some reason, talking about your finances is considered terribly taboo in our society.  Most people would rather tell you how much they weigh over how much they make.  I find that annoying.  Maybe we all wouldn't be in the messes we are in if we talked about things more, shared our successes, admitted our mistakes so other people wouldn't make them.  But it's still taboo, so I won't go into great detail.  I will say that we are not in debt (except for our house) but we are having to work extremely hard to keep it that way.  We don't eat out, we don't have any personal spending money.  We have several repairs to make that we've been putting off (like, making our upstairs shower work at all) because there are other more important things to buy.  I do not want or expect sympathy.  We are doing are best with what we have and we'll be okay.  I share this because I know a lot of people are going to have a tight Christmas, like we are.  There will not be a lot of packages under the tree.  It looks like Christmas might need saving!

Please don't.

Don't save Christmas.

It's not what you think. 

I do not get upset about the commercialization of Christmas.  Although Christmas is when we celebrate it, the department stores didn't steal Christ's birthday and defile it; December 25th was already a secular Roman holiday before Christians started using it (because they didn't know when Christ's birthday was).  I think there is plenty of room in December for both Santa and the Son of God.  I love reading the scriptures about baby Jesus, pondering the importance of my Savior's mission to earth, singing Christmas hymns, and thanking the Lord for another year of specially tailored blessings and trials.  I also love giving thoughtful gifts, opening presents, looking at Christmas lights, going to parties, eating too much yummy food, and watching my children's faces on Christmas morning when they see that Santa has come.  I'm not against that stuff at all.  But let me tell you a story.

One year, when I was a young teen, my mom told my brother and sister and I that she had budgeted some money for Christmas but that she wanted us to give it away.  There was a single mom of two little girls that had hardly anything compared to us.  They needed clothes and food, and could probably use some toys.  We agreed to give our Christmas to that family.  My mom, perhaps sensing how hard it might be to stick to our decision come Christmas morning, warned us again that there would be no money for presents for us.  She encouraged us to be creative in our gifts to each other.

That Christmas stands out to me more than any other in my life.  We enjoyed shopping for the family and dropping off the goodies on their doorstep.  But you want to know what I remember the most?  My little brother--I'm getting choked up as I type this--he took a wooden coin bank he had made out of popsicle sticks in a scout activity and repainted it and gave it to me.  It was an ugly shade of green.  I didn't need a bank.  It was perfect.  It meant so much to me because he had made it and it was all he had.  I have NO CLUE what he gave me last year for Christmas, or the year before that.  But I will always remember that bank.  We each made gifts to give each other.  Mom scraped some money together to give us each an article of clothing that we needed, like a pair of jeans.  But what she really gave us that Christmas was a precious gift I have treasured for almost 20 years.  She gave us unity as a family, the chance to face a problem together and draw closer to each other.  I remember how the air felt different in our home right after that conversation.  We were old enough to be told that things were tough.  We felt more responsible, more adult.  We were proud to rise up to the things being asked of us.  We learned to bridle our passions and delay gratification.  We learned to give.

Some parents get so worked up when hard times hit and they realize that Christmas this year isn't going to be what it has been in the past.  Last year, some people were going on eBay, asking for donations to their family's Christmas.  People in my city do the same thing on Craigslist.  Now, I'm not against asking for or giving help when the necessities of life are not being met.  And nearly every year I take names off the Angel Tree and buy clothes and toys for needy kids in the community.  But please, parents, calm down!  Don't freak out about how your children are going to be so deprived this Christmas if things are tough.  For one thing, if your kids are young enough to believe in Santa, they are also young enough to be happy with just about anything.  The only way they know what to expect from Christmas is because you tell them.  I know my 3 year old daughter would not be able to tell the difference between thrift store toys and Toys R Us.  She would be happy with Dollar Store stuff.  The only way she'll know that she's deprived is if I tell her!  Now, if your kids are too old to believe in Santa then they are old enough to handle a little bit of truth.  You can tell them that money doesn't grow on trees, that things will be a little tight this Christmas.  They will not need therapy later in life . . . unless you make a big deal about it.  Instead, give your kids the gift my mother gave us.

You can't save Christmas by going into debt and throwing toys at it.  Pleeeeease don't try.  You will be robbing your children of a precious opportunity.

Ya know what I mean, Vern?