The Grocery Shopping Work-out

You just got home from the grocery store . . . why are you so tired? I figured it out last year. Everything that you buy you lift SEVEN TIMES. That's right, seven. Here, I'll show you. Grab a can of chili and get ready to sweat.

1) Take the chili off the shelf and put it in your cart. 2) Take the chili out of your cart and put it on the conveyor belt. 3) Take the chili off of the conveyor belt and put it in your grocery bag. (I shop at stores where I have to bag my own groceries.) 4) Pick up the bag and put it in your cart. 5) Take the bag out of your cart and put it in your car. 6) Carry the bag in from your car and set it on the counter. 7) Take the chili out of the bag and put it in the cupboard.

Sure, a can of chili doesn't weigh that much, and neither do the rest of your groceries, but when you lift them all seven times, it takes a toll. Of course, we are not even counting the times you picked something up to read the label and then put it back on the shelf, or the things your child picked up with her super-long-stretcho arms that you had to take away and put back, or the time you had to move around sacks of groceries as you were loading them in the cart because you didn't want the can of chili to smoosh the bread, or when you had to move the can of chili to the bottom of the trunk to save the bread again, or the gi-mondo purse/diaperbag/50-miler backpack you carry around just in case, or the kids you had to load in-the-car-out-of-the-car-in-the-cart-out-of-the-cart-in-the-car-out-of-the-car. (I'm pretty proud of that there run-on sentence!)

Yes, if the world could only find a grocery store large enough to accomodate 100,000 spectators then Grocery Shopping would be featured in the next Summer Olympics and I would be a shoo-in for the national team. It brings a tear to my eye to think of me, Sandi, standing there with my gold medal as the Star Spangled Banner plays and the crowds of ecstatic fans trample my bread.