The answer is YES!

It's that time again--time to get healthy!  I don't know why I take pregnancy as a sign to throw moderation to the wind and pig out for 9 months, but so far I have every time.  My hope is that this time when I lose the weight I will have developed some strong, healthy habits that will stay with me if I get pregnant again.  Remember when I did this back in 2012?  Between February 17th (Vander's first birthday) and August (when I found out I was pregnant) I lost 40 lbs!  I did it all through portion control and incorporating more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains into our diet.  I also became more physically active, though I wouldn't really call it exercise.  I was afraid of exercise because I've always been bad at it.  But I'm not afraid anymore!  I know I can lose the weight because I did it before.  And I hope to lose even more and do it faster this time because I'm exercising every day!

I joined the St. Luke's $10,000 Weight Loss Challenge!  Now, if I win I don't get $10k.  (Bummer.)  Ten thousand is how much they are giving away in total prizes.  But the top winner gets $2,400, the second place winner $1,200 and on down.  I think it would be really cool to win!  Of course, I can't lose 50% of my body weight so if there is someone in the contest that can then I don't stand a chance.  But just getting my healthy, strong body will be more than enough reward for me.  I started the contest at 230 pounds (my all-time high) on January 11th.  Now I am at 215!  And yesterday I started another weight loss contest with some gals at church.  It's just a friendly little contest with a gift basket as the prize.  I found a group of gals that exercise three times a week in the cultural hall (gymnasium) at a nearby church.  They take turns running the nursery so the other moms can work out.  And local gals who know Zumba and Boot Camp and Weight Training take turns teaching.  It is really fun--and free!  I am so grateful I found this.

My goal is to get to 190 by the end of the St. Luke's contest in June.  My final goal weight is 160.  Maybe even 150, but it's hard to even think about that now.  I was 160 when I came home from my mission and I looked and felt really good.  Both numbers are in the healthy BMI range for my height but I can't imagine myself at 150!  That's okay.  While I'm working on my body I also have to work on my mind.  So much of this is mental training, not just physical training.

When I went to the kick off for the St. Luke's challenge they had a lot of vendor booths there.  One of the gals was telling me all about their weight-loss drink and then asked if I was pregnant.  (The drinks are not recommended for pregnant women.)  Then she looked at Bellana in my arms and realized how silly her question was.  I hope she also realized that asking someone if they are pregnant when they are weighing in for a weight loss contest is pretty dumb!  Truthfully, I wasn't offended.  I know I looked like I was pregnant, even though it had been 7 months since Bellana was born.  Remember this post I wrote about being beautiful and happy no matter what?  Well, I'd be lying if I said I was completely happy with a tired body that doesn't fit into flattering clothes and do the things I want it to.  But I have held onto my vow to not obsess over what other people think of me, and I haven't.  All that matters is what I think about myself.  I don't hate myself.  When I look in the mirror I don't think "I am fat.  I am gross." or any of the other things I used to think in such a situation.  Instead, I think, "I may look like this now, but I know what I looked like before.  I know I can look like that again.  I just have to want it.  Do I want it enough yet?"  And the answer, for seven months, was "no".

But now it's  YES!